Freedom Is Breathing
by FrostysMillenium
Summary: He doesn t want to be there anymore, he wants to be free! Whatever that means.  But he really didn t think that the cute blond guy, who finds him because of a dare, would be the one to free him from this place


Hey there, been long since I´ve uploaded a story. I have to say, I had this story in work for over a year, and this year it was kind of stressful since I changed school and blah blah blah.

**WARNING:** Contains slight Torture, YAOI, a cute blonde, a fiery red head and Final Fantasy Characters

Good..that done...for those who read my story "In Waves Of Harmony", the 2nd chapter is done, I´m just waiting for my co-writer to come online and read it through =)

Hope you enjoy this ...strange?...story and please, make the Autor (me) feel loved and leave a review =3

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I´ve given up long ago. I tried so often and never succeeded.

I´m still here, here in this god damn labor.

Just because I´m different.

Just because I have this fuckin´ power.

I wish I could just die.

Why would god want me to go through this shit? Because I´m a monster? Because

I´m a failed creation of his?

Every time I wake up, I´m in this damn tank filled with green 'water'. I can breathe even thought I shouldn´t.

Every time they get me out of it and connect those damn cables with my collar ( Yeah, I have a collar like a dog), I feel it. The pain, which they inflict to force out my suppressed powers. Letting me burn myself and everything in the room, whatever is not fire resistant.

Every time I would scream, scream for help, scream for freedom.

Every time I would beg, beg them to stop, beg them to kill me.

And every time they would laugh. Telling me, they would never let me go, that I´m a monster, that I should be caged up for the rest of my life.

And every time, I would look at them as if they were the monsters and not me.

And every time, they would notice and hit me for it.

Today would be the same, like the day before.

And tomorrow would be the same, like today.

Until they were tiered of me, until they kill me.

Until then, I would continue to live in pain.

I wasn´t their first. I was the eight. All the others before me died. Were killed by the "professors" because they weren´t useful anymore. I saw them die, and I will die too. And I´m sure, I wouldn´t be the last to experience this pain.

Nobody cares as long as it´s not them.

Nobody knows I exist, nobody cares.

Nobody knows this labor is still being used, nobody cares.

Nobody would miss me and nobody cares.

Nobody would love me, after all, nobody cares.

Love…what is love?

Why, why do I know this….."thing" exists, even thought I don´t know what it is?

Is it like food?

Is it a drink?

Is it something you feel…..like pain?

Is it like pain?

Does love hurt?

Or does it feel good?

What feels good?

What does feeling good mean?

Does it mean, that I´m not in pain?

Does it mean I can be free?

Or does it mean I should die, to feel good?

Dying. Seems like a dream. If I die, would I be free of this?

Would I still be a monster?

Would I be…normal?

Would I still be in pain?

Or not?

So many questions, so few answers.

I opened my eyes, slowly. Seeing the green water. Seeing the room. Blurry. But still…..I saw her. Clearly. I could see her smirk. See her thinking of what she would do to me today. Pressure. A sudden pressure on my head, let my hands shoot up, grabbing it, trying to lessen the pain. I screamed, silently, trashing around, feet hitting glass, trying to relief the pain, trying to break free, still….not succeeding.

Somehow, I managed to fix my gaze on her. Her orange hair, her blue eyes, lightening up as they saw, how my body arched, trying to get away from the pain. Her lips, forming into a sadistic smile, while slowly taking back some steps. Hitting some buttons, never looking away from my arching form. The pain stopped. Almost sudden. I sank to the floor, breath erratic, hands still holding onto my head tightly.

I felt the green 'water' slowly drain from the container, felt it leave my fiery red hair, felt it leave my face, felt how my lungs could capture real air, as if for the first time. I felt the relief as I was freed of the 'water', not liking it at all.

Well who would?

Imprisoned days before they came again, freeing you only to be tested with again and again. Through the whole process, my gaze never strayed from the woman before me. The Devil. The demon which enjoyed bringing pain to me.

Her name? I would rather let her name out of this…after all….does a human being, doing this, deserve a name?

More than me?

Yes, I didn´t have a name, I go by number VIII. The number of experiments they did till now. I was number VIII. The other are gone..was it really that long ago that I spoke with them? Like a normal human?

They told me how they were treated, each in a different way. The professors told each of them how they came here. They told me, that I burned my home, my parents…my brother.

Yeah, I had a brother…..it seems. They told me he was my twin, but didn´t have the 'powers' I had.

Apparently, the tattoos I had right underneath my eyes, which seemed to look like turned teardrops, were given to me by my brother. As a birthday present….

I do not know if that is true, but I have to at least hang onto something don´t I? Sadly I forgot all of that. As if my memories were erased. Maybe they did. I mean erase my memories. Would make it easier for them to control me, wouldn´t it?

My name…..I would like to know it, but they don´t tell me, saying that I don´t deserve a name.

The Devils name…hah seems kinda funny that I would say devil to a human, who should actually stand above me. But I, a monster, regarded her as a devil. Ironic, don´t you think?

Her name, Sakuro Hana.

The owner, professor, the inventor of this god damn living hell.

"How do you feel today?"

"How would you feel after being imprisoned in a tank filled with a green substance, without getting out, something to eat, drink or talk for days?"

I asked her, sarcasm dripping in my voice.

"Not talking today, huh?"

She always did that, ignoring me if I said something she didn´t like. Nothing new.

"Well then."

She turned away, walking toward a keyboard right beside my container.

"Stand up."

I didn´t move a muscle, just starring at her.

"This wasn´t a request, it was an order."

I still didn't move, a grin forming on my face. Oh how I loved to annoy her.

"Go fuck yourself with your fuckin´ orders. " I spat out. My voice quite smug.

She glared at me. My grin got wider. I knew how she hated foul language.

"Do I have to give you shocks again today?"

The grin left my face as fast as it came. Cursing under my breath I stood up, slowly, my legs weak from not moving and not getting nutrient.

Leaning against the glass of my tank for support, I lifted my gaze at her again, fixing her with my stare.

She pressed a few buttons, looking over at me.

"Maybe we should give you a new pair of sweatpants. Yours look really dirty…and torn."

Yep, I wasn´t naked (thank god for that) but they didn´t let me shower, the green water made me clean enough they said.

"Well what do you expect? Had them on for like what? Two months. Of course they would look dirty torn and burned. Maybe you should think about getting fire resistant clothing, then you wouldn´t have to get me one every time after you screw with my body." I replied in a chatty voice.

Her lips curved into a razor sharp smile. Oh shit. I was in deep trouble now.

"Something as expensive as that would be wasted on a monster like you."

I shoot her a glare and wanted to snap back at her but only yelped as mechanic arms came from above me, holding me in place. One at my neck, holding up my collar, two at each of my arms and two at my feet. I began struggling, trying to get away from her, not liking the dangerous glint in her eyes. She pressed the big red button right in front of my 'cage', and the glass disappeared, leaving me completely vulnerable to her. Thanks to the robotic arms holding me up, I didn´t need the glass as support anymore, which meant, I didn´t fall over. But that all seemed completely unimportant because I could just look at her, how she came closer with every step she took.

She lifted her hand, hocking it under my chin, tilting it to the side, harshly. Groaning in pain, I looked down at her. Her other hand rummaged through her coats pocket and the silence was broken with my scream. She rammed a injection into my neck, letting some hot fluid flow through my veins, licking them like flames, making me scream louder.

"You know, it´s not nice to scream into people's ears." She murmured, seeming absorbed in how my veins got bigger and pulsated at the puncture wound.

"It´s not nice to keep people locked up against their will either." I hissed at her, still in pain. She shot me a glare and pushed the needle in deeper…..if that was even possible. I began to tremble, trying to hold back my screams. My teeth pushing into the soft skin of my lips, breaking it, letting red liquid flow down my chin. I glared at her again, oh how much I wanted to slaughter her, how much would I love to hear _her_ scream. How I would love to hear her beg, beg for me to stop, like I had a thousand times. Oh, how I would love to shatter her hopes, her pride, how much would I love to shatter her _life_!

I would die willingly if I could just kill her…if I just could.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

It burns! It fuckin´BURNS!

It hurts, why, why does it HURT? Why is there screaming?

WHO is screaming? It can´t be me can it?

I would know if I scream wouldn´t I.

WHY!

WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH? WHAT IS IT, THAT THEY DO TO ME! WHY IS IT THAT THEY HURT ME? WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME! I DON`T WANT THIS!

Who is it….who is screaming? And why does he scream? Is he hurting….like me?

LET ME THE FUCK OUTA HERE! I WANNA HAVE MY FUCKIN` LIFE BACK! LET ME OUT!

Ouch…..why does it hurt when that person screams….it´s like he´s inside my head and screams….

LET ME OUT! I HAVE TO FIND MY BRO! I WANT TO GO BACK….I WaNT To GO BacK To HIm…

It´s getting quieter…..what is this blackness…..it feels great….it feels….wonderful….it….doesn´t….hu…rt.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

It´s always like this….I go crazy, hear this voice, black out and wake up in my tank again. I just…..

Why…..why do I hear this voice…why is it screaming….who is it?

I want to have answers…..but nobody will give them to me. It´s like I´m in a carousel. Always running, never stopping, running in a circle. My body feels so light, like always…after they give me this crap…I always feel like I´m flying, flowing, like I am free.

But why…..why can´t I be…free….why can´t I be given freedom?

Tiredly, my body sinks on the ground, bringing my knees up to my chest, my eyes noticing new pants…not burned…not torn…not dirty…..clean. I feel a tear run down my cheek, droping into the substance, another one, leaving my eyes….now floating in the substance like in space.

I the corners of my lips twitching upward at the thought of space…..must be great.

To be free. To have no limitations. To just….live.

Heh…..must be _really _great.

_Oh, come on…you´re normally not so down_

My head jerked up….what the heck…was that?

Hell yeah, I´m goin´ crazy.

But somehow, I couldn´t help but think that this voice was right…being depressed didn´t suit me…

Don´t ask me why cuz I don´t know…it´s just a gut feeling….but maybe…maybe that voice is right.

Maybe….it really didn´t suit me. Was I that kind of person once?

I sure as hell would like to know. Just to get rid of these depressing thoughts, I floated up again, my legs, again, tangling, freely in the substance.

I began to spin, feeling my body slice through the 'water', letting my skin feel it´s softness, letting my lungs breath deep. Letting me forget. Letting my mind wander of….into a dream I didn´t know existed. Letting a smile grace my face, letting me feel, feel the loneliness I buried deep inside me, feel the happiness which I didn´t know I had. Which I never hoped to have.

I was ridden of my thoughts and stopped my spinning as I heard this soft, velvet voice, which I´ll probably never forget.

"Hello."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Roxas p.o.v.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

'I knew accepting this stupid dare from Hayner would be stupid, but nooooo, I just had to.'

Roxas thought angrily to himself. He made his way slowly trough the small piece of forest as he went straight for the "haunted mansion" or what else they call it.

He knew he shouldn´t have said this one sentence that ruined his whoooole afternoon. How could he be so stupid?

Everybody knows that the mansion is off-limits because it could fall apart every moment…at least that´s what some people told them (It didn´t look so instable in Roxas eyes.) But the problem is, you could get in real trouble if you get found. That´s why everybody usually avoids this place. But then last week, Hayner had this perfect idea of giving Roxas a dare…..of course Roxas wasn´t stupid to just say yes and asked 'what the heck this dare should be.' And after finding out, he immediately declined, not wanting to have anything to do with that place. But nooo, Hayner had to annoy him with this for a WHOLE WEEK! Then yesterday he practically screamed 'Fine, if you shut the fuck up I´ll do the fucking dare.'

.

.

.

.

And he regretted it right after the word left his lips.

He knew Hayner wouldn´t take a I won´t do it after you said you´ll do it. So you probably could imagine the grin that spread on his face as he told Roxas that tomorrow evening Roxas will have to go to the mansion and spent the night there. It´s not that Roxas was scarred or anything, he just didn´t want to get into trouble.

He sighted again, throwing his backpack over his shoulder as it tried to fall off. His footsteps got slower as he neared the gate, stopping right in front of it before pushing it open. Making his way past the broken statues and pillars to the entrance door. He looked warily at the front door.

'Please let no one catch me!' He thought to himself before trying to open the big, heavy wood door.

The wood creaked and the door hinge squealed as he pushed it open inch by inch. It cost him all his strength to just open it enough for him to get through. He squeezed himself through the door and slowly walked forward. He went for the stairs and wanted to go left but he heard something like a thump from the right side. The blonde jumped, his heart beating faster, slowly, he pulled himself together and walked towards the right, really slowly opening the door, trying to make no noise, and peaked inside. It had to be some kind of library but something was wrong.

He walked inside and searched for a reason why it seemed off. Suddenly he stumbled and fell down with a loud thud. He stayed silent, praying that there wasn´t anyone inside the mansion. When there was no noise or movement anywhere, he got up, slowly, again. He looked over his shoulder, trying to see over what he fell, when he saw a crack inside the floor. 'It looks like a trapdoor...maybe..' He walked over, towards the little table standing in the middle of the room. There, on the table, lay a book, that looked slightly out of place. He picked it up and looked at the little black button underneath it. 'Maybe, I should just leave this alone...if I get caught finding whatever someone doesn´t want me to find, I´m sure I´ll get into sooo much trouble.' He stood there some time staring at the button while thinking. 'Well, if they catch me here or down, wherever it leads to, doesn´t matter...I think...' So he pressed the button. The floor over the trapdoor creaked a bit but than slid aside, underneath the real floor. 'At least, it´s not something old.' There was a staircase now. He hesitantly put a foot upon the stairs, taking slow steps down.

To say he was nervous was an understatement. But curiosity got the best of him and he kept going down.

He found a mechanic door at the end and pressed the button beside it to open it.

Behind the door was a big room with many computer screens and bookcases. Looking around, he found a small corridor. He continued on and at the end, there was some kind of tunnel. H walked through, into a room with a green tank and many cables and computers. But he didn´t look around as much as he did before, because there in the tank, there was a beautiful red haired boy. He seemed to dance in the green water and didn´t seem to notice him.

So he decided to make himself known with a small:

"Hello."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

That´s it for now, please leave a review if you like it/hate it/ love it/ want to have it/ throw it against the wall/ bath it in love/ burn it with hate

Whatever you please =)


End file.
